I'll always be here
by ipio
Summary: No one is invincible, no one is immortal, but we live on always in the hearts of those we love. This is a revised addtion, and I think it's much better than the first one, and much more personal. Cordy/Doyle, This story also illistrates cordys relationshi


I hear the door slam

*~* I'll always be here...*~*

Disclaimer: There not mine. I'm not making any money off of this.

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I hear the door slam.

You bounce into the room signing a song.

You have a terrible voice Cordy.

__

"If I could turn back time...if I could find a way...."

Not the greatest Cher in the world either, not that I'd ever tell you that to your face. I like my genitals right where they are, thank you very much.

I was watching you guys today.

With all the demon, vampire, cult shit that happened today, you should shaking in fear. 

But you, you're singing. 

Now you're plopping down on the sofa and pulling out a journal from a loose floorboard. 

No one but me knows about that journal.

__

"Let's see.... Did anything worth writing about happen today..."

Like clockwork, you come home singing and pull out that old journal.

It's old, yellow, and falling apart.

It's also huge. 

Your mother and grandmother both used it and passed it on to you.

It should have run out of space about a year ago, but I love to watch you write so I cheated and made it a bit bigger.

It's got four month's more space in it.

That's all you'll need.

Your not writing in it now though, you are reading over some of the old passages.

You clear your throat and start to whisper an old entry aloud. 

You read it so quietly that I have to strain my ears to hear it.

__

"Doyle kissed me tonight...and then he died...."

Oh Cordy no, please don't do this!

Why do you read that entry all the time?

Now your beautiful smile is gone and replaced by a sad, weary look as you run your fingers across the smudged, tear stained entry.

Now you are putting the journal back in it's place under the floorboard and that horrible look is still on your face.

__

"Doyle..."

You used to cry all the time. 

Every night. 

It killed me to see you cry and not be able to hold you and play with your hair, and tell you everything would be all right. Then say something really stupid and make you roll your eyes at me, forgetting the problem entirely.

You still cry, not every night, but every once in awhile. 

You are careful to do it when no one's around.

You don't want any of the guys to see you cry.

You don't want them to feel sorry for you.

Because you don't feel sorry for yourself.

You never have.

You are actually pretty happy right now; you just need to cry sometimes. 

I pick up a tissue and gently wipe your tears away. 

You smile and shiver a bit.

You always shiver a bit if I touch you. 

Because ghosts are cold.

__

"Thanks Dennis"

I'm not Dennis. 

Dennis, bless his soul, agreed to switch places with me. 

He's up in heaven where he belongs, and I'm with you, where I belong. 

I like being able to watch over you. 

Even if I can't do much but hand you tissues, I can still be there for you.

You have no idea how happy that makes me.

*********************

__

"I'm supposed to meet the guys tonight. I'm just gonna take a quick rest first"

Tired again huh?

__

"I'm just gonna close my eyes for a second. Just need to rest my eyes...I'll be up and fresh in a minuet...."

With that you fall into another deep sleep, and I pull a blanket over you. 

You'll wake up again in about twelve hours, have a huge headache, and call in sick for work. 

You won't be getting any more visions today. 

Those things hurt like a bitch when you already have a headache. 

I've called in a few favors, and today you get to rest.

Once you call in from work you will take a whole lot of aspirin, watch TV for awhile, and go right back to bed.

You won't even think about seeing a doctor 

It'll go on like that for about a month.

Work. Home. Aspirin. Sleep.

Angel will finally convince you to go see a doctor.

You'll wait a few days for the results.

When the results do come back, everyone will deal with it in different ways.

.....Wesley will go though spell book after spell book trying to find a cure, before realizing that there is no magic cure for Cancer.

.....Gunn will try and act as if nothing's going on. He will hide all his emotions until he has to clean out your apartment. Then he'll brake down. Hard.

...Angel will insist on moving in with you, waiting on you hand and foot to the point of driving you insane. In his mind, you're his sister. And that's what big brothers do, they take care of their little sisters.

You will undergo treatment after treatment. You'll go to clinic after clinic, before finally accepting that you won't be in this world much longer.

Angel will refuse to accept that of course. He will send you to all the best doctors in the country (human and demon alike).

But they'll all say the same thing; that you only have a few months left.

You will actually be very calm about this.

You'll start going to church a lot; talking back to the powers, and when that day comes you will be very tranquil, at peace.

And I'll be waiting for you.

*********************************************

Months later, three men stood at the edge of a rocky cliff, looking over a clear blue ocean.

One man, dressed all in black, stared at the sharp blue water. Then moon, the stars, all of the makers creations were seen clearly in the water. The only reflection missing was his. In his hand he clutched a marble green urn as if it were a lifeline. He started to speak, and didn't bother to look away from the water as the words left his mouth shakily. 

"The sun will be up soon."

A man by his left, with wire rimmed glasses and a light of intelligence shining clearly through him, nodded in understanding. He tentatively took the urn from the man in black and looked at it, letting tears flow freely down his face. 

"Cordy... The first time I met you...you were beautiful.... bossy...loud... spoiled... presumptuous... and quite stuck on me if I remember correctly."

He paused and gave a sad smile "That changed didn't it? I watched you become a strong, caring, independent women; who never ran away from her problems but met them head on, with more life and determination than anyone I knew. I am a better person from having met you, and I thank god for everyday that you were in my life."

He took a slow breath, and handed the urn to another man to his left. This man was black, and quite handsome. He was also covering his eyes, in an attempt to cover the fact he was crying.

When he took the Urn, you saw that his eyes were red and puffy, and his cheeks were wet. He looked at the urn and gave up all attempts at hiding his tears from his friends, sobbing almost uncontrollably. After a few minutes he calmed down enough to talk, and held the urn gently in his hands.

"Cordy........I......I.....This is kinda funny huh? Gunn, speechless. Damn, I wanted to be strong for you today!"

He stopped for a minutes and gulp of air.

"Cordy, I hope you're okay.... Hell, I bet your running the joint by now. Take care of yourself, I love you girl. I'm sorry I never told you that when I had the chance."

He handed the Urn back to the man in the black, who clutched it against his chest. He didn't cry, unlike his friends he was past the point of being eased by tears. He was in a place no emotion could describe. He looked at the sea again, and this time saw memories of a browned haired girl in it.

******************

**__**

"Angel!? HI! What are you doing in L.A? Really? That's great...Well I should really go talk to important people. Ciao!"

"You don't know who he is? Ohhhh, you are sooo gonna get you ass kicked."

"He's not coming after me again, right?"

" I thought I could start on a standard weakly basis salary.... That is if you could use me?"

"Look, I printed up business cards!.....No, it's an angel! How do you not see that?"

"Maybe I'm being punished... for the way I used to be..."

"There. Now we'll always have a part of Doyle in the office"

"What happened? Are you all right? Here, sit down......what are you looking at?"

"At least Angelious told me the truth, shouldn't I expect the same from my friend angel?"

"Cordy, If I ever get like that again..."

"Oh, I'll kill ya dead"

"I don't care if he's a physco vamp! He's my friend and I'm not going to let you hurt him."

"So what did I learn? Sex is bad...."

"I think we all knew that

"Yeah. All right, here's one. I learned their are two people in the world I trust with my life. That's new."

"Angel, we are not friends. Stay away from me."

"She's my friend and I believe in her."

"Don't say anything. Not a word"

"Ah! New clothes! I have new clothes! You are sooo forgiven!"

"These are great! You have great taste. You have, like, a gay man's taste! And that's a compliment."

"Wait! Don't kill him! I love him!"

"We have to go save her"

"It's dangerous. We might not come back"

"Its Cordy"

"Right"

"Angel investigations, we help the helpless!"

****************************

He opened his mouth and words, long bottled up, flew out.

"Cordy. Thank you so much. Thank you for being my sister, my friend, and my humanity. When I went over the edge, you brought me back. When I was being 'all dark and broody' as you called it, you got me to be among living people. I love you. Please know wherever you are, you're in my heart."

*******************************

"And you're in mine angel."

A golden angel, female, with brown hair cut in a bob, and held back with white flowers, kissed the man on the forehead as he threw the contents of the urn into the ocean.

"Thank you for being my brother."

She walked up to the man in glasses and kissed him on the forehead . 

"Thank you for being my friend"

She walked up the black man and kissed him on the forehead as well.

"Thank you for always being there for me. I always knew how you felt, you didn't need to say it."

She looked at all of them and smiled "Thank you for loving me. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for being my family. Now I'm the one who gets to watch over you"

******************************

The angel flew back to a small hill a few yards away from her family, and met another angel. This one was obviously male, with short, messy brown hair, and a thick accent.

"They can't hear me can they?"

The man smiled "I think they can."

The woman smiled laced her hand with the mans "I think so too. I'm still gonna watch over them. Hell, they'd fall apart without me!"

The man smiled and nodded "Probably. I know I would."

The woman smiled even brighter and played with the mans hair "So are you taking me out for dinner or what?"

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Authors note: Well, this is the revised edition of a story I posted yesterday. I know this fic is sad, but I think it has a happy ending. I just wanted to write something pretty, and I think I succeeded. What do you guys think? Please review!


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